Your Routine Should Be Somewhere Between Fluid and Structured
Personality types aside, a universal goal amongst my clients is the desire to exist somewhere in the middle— not so structured their world feels forced and boring, but not so fluid they lack control and live in mental and physical reactivity mode.
This is true outside of diet and lifestyle habits, but especially so when digging into what about your routine is or isn’t resonating. It’s so common to compare your life to the perceived patterns of others, leaving you questioning if they have it more (or less) figured out than you do.
My advice is to ditch that rhetoric and get connected to what your internal barometer says. Do you feel confident in your daily choices or not? Do you feel you’re too rigid or loose? Does your schedule feel embodied or forced? Getting to the bottom of these questions is The Work, and it's a result of paying close attention to yourself and overall life flow (which is what my health coaching is all about).
Living in reactivity mode can result in having too many mental tabs open, leading to decision overwhelm and unsupportive habits. Alternatively, following a strict structure with no room for flexibility can have you feeling uninspired and resentful towards the activities that should bring joy and embodiment. Neither extreme is sustainable or conductive. I invite you to reframe thinking about your routine as the riverbed for life to flow through; the container for ever-changing waters. Here’s a couple ways to lean into this mentality:
Develop confidence in the basics
Identify your foundational pillars such as proper meal composition, what your regular eating times are, ensuring you maintain hydrated, knowing your go-to movement types, etc.
Gain a strong sense of how your day should flow (regardless of if it actually happens this way or not)
Thinking ahead about what your meals will be, where movement fits into the day, and how self-care will fold into the spaces in between is crucial for living with ease. This is the ultimate “I have my own back” energy— it doesn’t look rigid or mundane, but centered and deliberate.
Become very comfortable with your preferences, know when to push the limits and when to say no
I call this being “vice selective” or “choice aware”. Given we are social creatures, sometimes we make decisions for our body based on external influences (for better or for worse). This is completely natural, but a roadblock nonetheless. Being choice aware means you become familiar with the limits of social influence; know when to join in on something you wouldn’t otherwise and when to return to your foundational preferences.
“It is often the case that the more set in your personal regimen, the more freedom you have within that structure to express yourself. Discipline and freedom seem like opposites. In reality, they are partners. Discipline is not a lack of freedom, it is a harmonious relationship with time.”
— The Creative Act: A Way of Being
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